Leaving is rarely easy in my experience. One of the most difficult things about this process of deciding to go to seminary has been leaving my current job. I haven't been at my current job in marketing and PR very long -- it'll be 2 years in about 2 weeks -- so in many ways I feel like I'm a short-timer. These feelings gave me alot of doubts about whether this was really what God wanted me to do.
Because of those doubts, one of the hardest things so far about this was to tell my boss (what would he say? think? do?), but he was great about it. He was very affirming and although he was sad to see me go, he 'saw' it in me. I was relieved and grateful for that response.
However, today I learned that two of my other Advancement colleagues will also be leaving their posts this summer -- one retiring and one moving with her husband to his new job. Even though I had no idea about either of these changes (nor they about mine) I still have some guilt about leaving this job behind. I have a strong sense of responsibility and don't want to leave anyone in a lurch. There will be a lot of new people and I know how stressful that can be and here I am contributing to the problem. I'd rather be a part of the solution.
One of my current colleagues asked, "Well, do you feel bad enough to change your mind?" She said it tongue-in-cheek, but it got me thinking. I don't, of course, feel bad enough to change my mind, but I wonder what, if anything, would make me change my mind at this point. I can honestly say -- nothing that I could imagine. I've been very at peace with this since day one and that, in my opinion, is a good thing. That doesn't mean I won't miss my job or these people, I will, but I'm also confident in my decision.
So we'll continue to move on in faith trusting the He will provide both for us and for the Advancement Office. If we believe that the Lord has great things in store for us, then I must believe equally that he has great things in store for those we're leaving behind as well.
In the meantime, we've been getting the house whipped into shape to put on the market next week and keeping a close eye on the Olympics. I'm doing my best to support the Canadians but, if I'm honest, I'm pretty biased toward the stars and stripes. We love the Olympics at our house!
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