Monday, May 24, 2010


Doubt is a funny thing. It seems like doubt strikes when you least expect it and can least afford it. As the transition gets closer and closer I asking more and more questions....I'm feeling doubt-full.

Can I do this? Should I do this? Am I crazy? Everyone I come in contact with tells me I'll do great and that it's a good fit for me. That's great that they all think so, but what if I don't think so? How am I going to go back to school again? What if the kids don't make new friends at school? What if Jessica can't find a job? What if I hate it? What if we can't fit everything on the moving truck? What if the finances don't work out? The questions are endless right now and that makes me doubt.

Often in the Christian life, we think asking these kinds of questions is bad. We think it shows a lack of faith, a lack of trust. I don't think so...I think it's part of being human. God made us to be dependent on each other and totally dependent on Him. If we didn't question things and have doubts and fears we wouldn't need to depend on anyone -- we wouldn't feel the need.

So I'm clinging to the fact that this is what God wants from us. It isn't easy, but it's right. It may be that sometimes it isn't fun, but it's necessary. I'm clinging to the fact that "God is my rock and my salvation" and that his will will be done.

So I'll likely doubt some more, but I'll trust some more and depend on His promises some more. And that's a good thing.

Am I crazy? Probably. But then again, maybe crazy is good!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Small Towns

I've been having my share of 'small town' moments lately. You know, the kinds of things that only happen in a small town. Like yesterday, I brought my grass clippings to the dump and as I was sweeping out my pickup bed a guy that goes to my church came over with his gas-powered blower and blew it clean for me. Just tonight the neighbor lady offered up a whole bunch of moving boxes while I was over admiring her new landscaping and last night a couple in our church offered up their humongous garage for storage if we need it.

In Sioux Center, it's pretty hard to go the grocery store and not see someone you know. In fact, it's pretty hard to go anywhere and not see someone you know. When we first moved here Jessica found that very hard to deal with (see came from the city). I was used to it, so it was no big deal. But every so often, I wish that I could go out and not be known. Be anonymous while I'm getting bread and milk (or beer).

When we move to Grand Rapids those small town moments will go away (or at least diminish) and we'll have to get used to a new normal. For example, I can't remember the last time I went to bank and actually had a deposit or withdrawal slip. I've never once been asked to show my ID when I go to the teller window -- they all know me! If I tried that in the city, I'd get laughed right out of the lobby. That's just one of the many things I'm sure we'll miss about small town living.

But I hope we'll still get to know our neighbors and develop the kinds of relationships that we've developed here. It just takes a little time and a little trust and those are two things we could all use a little more of.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Lately we've been experiencing a few 'lasts'....Jessica's last GEMS meeting, Bethany's last orchestra concert, the last day of Sunday school, our last parent-teacher conference, our last Bible study, etc. It's not that we won't ever experience those things again, it's just that we won't experience them here -- in Sioux Center. I'm not necessarily sad about that. But it is strange to think about.

I never really pictured us moving away, we're happy here. I guess it's good that I've never felt the need to 'get out of dodge'. For me, that's been part of the whole process -- coming to grips with the fact that being comfortable, being happy, doesn't necessarily mean you should stay where you're at. We should always be challenging ourselves to try new things.

Being too comfortable usually means that you stop asking questions -- life becomes predictable, safe, maybe even easy. We like routine, patterns, consistency. Life is harder when those things aren't there--or is it? Maybe life isn't really harder, just different. And maybe, just maybe, different could be better.

So we will continue to have more and more lasts over the next few weeks (council meetings, work days, school days, Sundays) but maybe that's a good thing. I've been playing that line from "Closing Time" by Semisonic in my head a lot this week, "Every new beginning, comes from some other beginnings end."

This is a new beginning. It's also an uncertain one....and that's OK by me, because the One who is never uncertain and infinitely dependable is going with us. And that's all the certainty I need.

Monday, May 3, 2010


Well, things continue to move forward for us on the transition front. The garage sale was a success, allowing us to get rid of a lot of stuff and giving us some much needed funds in the process. I also sold my pickup last week to a guy here in town and we've worked out an arrangement wherby I can share it with him until we leave, which is great!

And if that wasn't enough...we sold the house too! Yep, after waiting for eight weeks we got an offer in the morning and had the whole deal sealed by the 4:00 that afternoon. So, while were excited about that, we are also anxious since we have to be out by June 9th. We are hoping/planning to stay in Sioux Center until at least July 1st, so we'll be looking for some temporary housing for about three weeks. I'm currently on the prowl for a few sturdy refrigerator boxes taht I can duct tape together! =)

So day-by-day this whole process is becoming more and more a reality and we are continuing to feel affirmed about this next step in our lives. While we are feeling bad about leaving Sioux Center, we are also eagerly anticipating what God has in store for us in Grand Rapids.

We are seeing how the Lord provides and have faith that he will continue to do so.